The Lighter Side - By Aaron Hoddinott
October 09, 2008
I received this in an email from my (doom and gloom theorist) brother. It made me laugh!
Now here is investment advice that's easy to understand:
If you had purchased $1,000 of AIG stock one year ago, you would have $42 left.
With Lehman, you would have $6.60 left.
With Fannie or Freddie, you would have less than $5 left.
But if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then
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Re: The Lighter Side - A MODERN PARABLE . . .
1) The parable was great reading except for the fact that it's so close to the truth.
I also like the blurb about Toyota and Ford, it's thought provoking.
I'd like to know if most of the Japanese carmakers operating in US are unionized. I grew up in the sixties and seventies reading Upton Sinclair and John Dos Passos. Most of the growing corporations were committing atrocities so I believe that unions helped create a middle clas in the USA. They are beginning to become a drag on the economy of just about every old line industry left.
I think that the primary reason for the lack of financial success the US companies have vs. Japanese companies-and this ties in with your parable- is the following: As of around 200 I read a study where economists created ratios between the highest paid and the lowest paid workers in different industries and different cultures. I believe, at the time, the ratio in Japan was 14:1. In the USA it was on the order of 380:1.
I would be far more inclined to be a "company" man if I was making 125,000/yr. and the CEO was making $1,750,000 that's in the same ball park. It's bleacher seats vs. Luxury Box but $125,000 vs.$47, 500,000 which is the extropolatrion of the second ratio, is an order of magnitude difference. It means that the CEO anf the Executive staff have nothing in common with most of their employees. Frankly, after doing those calculations, I believe they are way of and now I would think it's closer to 750:1. And, its only kept that low because of small companies where the owner often has tp look into the face of his emploiyees far more frequently. Thanks for the blurb. wgs
Re: The Lighter Side - A MODERN PARABLE . . .
1) The parable was great reading except for the fact that it's so close to the truth.
I also like the blurb about Toyota and Ford, it's thought provoking.
I'd like to know if most of the Japanese carmakers operating in US are unionized. I grew up in the sixties and seventies reading Upton Sinclair and John Dos Passos. Most of the growing corporations were committing atrocities so I believe that unions helped create a middle clas in the USA. They are beginning to become a drag on the economy of just about every old line industry left.
I think that the primary reason for the lack of financial success the US companies have vs. Japanese companies-and this ties in with your parable- is the following: As of around 200 I read a study where economists created ratios between the highest paid and the lowest paid workers in different industries and different cultures. I believe, at the time, the ratio in Japan was 14:1. In the USA it was on the order of 380:1.
I would be far more inclined to be a "company" man if I was making 125,000/yr. and the CEO was making $1,750,000 that's in the same ball park. It's bleacher seats vs. Luxury Box but $125,000 vs.$47, 500,000 which is the extropolatrion of the second ratio, is an order of magnitude difference. It means that the CEO anf the Executive staff have nothing in common with most of their employees. Frankly, after doing those calculations, I believe they are way of and now I would think it's closer to 750:1. And, its only kept that low because of small companies where the owner often has tp look into the face of his emploiyees far more frequently. Thanks for the blurb. wgs
Re: The Lighter Side - fishing
Two guys from Minnesota are sittin' in a boat on Mud Lake fishing and suckin down beers when all of a sudden Mike says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over six months." Harry sips his beer and says; "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."
Re: The Lighter Side - Holidays are coming
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious reason, they simply have not been
able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable!
Re: The Lighter Side -
A man walks in to a bank, gets in line and when it
was his turn at the teller, he pulls out a
gun and robs the bank! But just to make sure he
leaves no witnesses, he turns around and
asks the next customer in line, " Did you see me rob
this bank?".
The customer replies, "Yes!"
The bank robber raises his gun, points it to the
customer's head and BANG!!!!!... Shoots him
in the head and kills him.
He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says
to the man, "Did you see me rob
this bank?"
The man calmly responds, "No ... but my wife did!
Re: The Lighter Side - A MODERN PARABLE . . .
A MODERN PARABLE . . . A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (Ford) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing. Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing. Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents, and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners, and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes, and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses. The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India. Sadly, The End. Here's something else to think about: Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US, claiming they can't make money paying American wages. TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US. The last quarter's results: TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses. Ford folks are still scratching their heads. IF THIS WEREN'T SO TRUE, IT MIGHT JUST BE FUNNY
Re: The Lighter Side - Generations
A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one." The student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "We, the young people of today, grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, men walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing and...," pausing to take another drink of beer.
The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young ........so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little fart, what are you doing for the next generation?"
Re: The Lighter Side -
Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, ?If I died, would you get another dog??
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
And last, but not least:
14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
Re: The Lighter Side - By Aaron Hoddinott
Lol…certainly appreciate your sense of humor. I hope you don’t mind if I add a little tidbit:
A fellow was laying in his hospital bed with an oxygen mask when a pretty young nurse entered his room. She told the fellow that she was there to give him a partial sponge bath.
Although the fellow had a difficult time speaking with his mask on, he managed to ask the young nurse ‘Are my testicles black?’.
The young nurse blushed a little and replied that she was only there to sponge his upper body and would not be looking in that area.
The fellow struggled very hard but managed to reiterate to the young pretty nurse ‘Are my testicles black?’.
The young nurse became concerned that the gentleman’s blood pressure would rise and she felt this was the last thing he needed at the moment. Although she was uncomfortable with the situation she felt it would be in the man's best interest if she took a quick look as this might ease his concern. So she slowly pulled the covers down to his knees and opened his gown. She then carefully took his manhood in one hand and gentle examined his gentiles with her other hand. She then looked up at the man and said ‘No, your testicles look fine.’.
The man reached to his mouth and pulled the oxgen mask away. He smiled at the young nurse and said “Thank you , that was very nice, but please listen very, very carefully… A..r..e .......M..y........T..e..s..t.........R..e..s..u..l..t..s.....B..a..c..k”.
GLTA
joe
Re: The Lighter Side - 2009 stock tips
Investment tips for 2009:
For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in 2009:
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2.) PolygramRecords, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become : Poly, Warner Cracker.
3) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood
4.) Zippo Manufacturing, AudiMotors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will Merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa .
5.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.
6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.
7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.